


Hamilton oneshots i write because i have no life

by Icarus_Flew



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Crossdressing, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Genderbending, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Organ Theft, Other, Strong Female Characters, Suicide, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i change age gaps bc stfu whamilton is a good ship but i dont like huge age gaps, uh, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23666602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarus_Flew/pseuds/Icarus_Flew
Summary: The name tells you plenty.I'll update as frequently as i can and i have plenty ready to be published.You can request in comments and I'll probably fulfill your request.Oneshots doesn't always mean oneshots,some will have a second part. I'll put a warning before if there's a sex scene or abuse but most won't have any.Yeah that's it,enjoy.(or don't,who am i to tell you what to do).
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/George Washington, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, George III of the United Kingdom/Original Female Character(s), John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette
Comments: 15
Kudos: 33





	1. Whamilton-canon era,fem!alex

Alexander sighed as Eliza did his- her.it’s her- makeup,Peggy chose the jewellery and Angelica was arguing with the hairdresser.She hated it.All of that shit.She was grateful to have the Schuylers but she would give her writing hand to go back to where she was a year ago.  
She missed it,missed her friends,missed her gun,her horse and the battlefield and missed the general.Her cot had been as hard and about as nice as a rock but currently,it seemed more comfortable than the silk and feather beds she was sleeping in recently.  
God,she hated Laurens right now.Hadn’t he been so loud,hadn’t he screamed and cried,hadn’t he walked in when she was binding her breasts for the day,she’d still be climbing ranks.  
But no.Her ‘best friend’ had screamed and gotten everyone to see her only in her pants and the bandages she’d used to bind her breasts.Her clothes,her bandages and her rank had all been taken away and she’d been dragged to in front of other generals and forced on her knees so they could decide what to do with her. She’d almost been hanged,then she was almost sent back to the carribean.But luck had smiled on her,like it always did on those who didn’t deserve it.Philip Schuyler had walked in,a bit late due to having to calm down his daughters and he’d made a proposal.Alexander Hamilton would get lost during a battle.A week later,Philip’s aunt’s granddaughter, Rachel Alexandria Faucette would arrive to States from Netherlands to stay with Philip and find a proper husband in states.Alex would marry someone,preferably a military man so they could keep her quiet and the brilliant mind of hers could still serve the country.  
The generals and Alex had of course accepted.She didn’t have any better options and she’d rather die than return to Carribean in shame.  
And so,here she was.Being made feminine so she could choose a rich military man to marry,who’d use her as an eye candy on his arm during balls,who she’d give children to and who would think of her as an idiot.She was going to loathe it but it was better than slow death of shame after being sent home.  
She took a deep breath as Peggy tied the corset as tight as it went.It was needed, Alex had gained an awful lot of pounds since she got more than one meal a day. She wasn’t overweight,far from it,but the thinner the better. After the corset came the hoop skirt.That annoying piece of shit that both looked and felt like a cage. She couldn’t run in it,she’d trip and it was so easy for an enemy to grab.Were she to fall,it’d be hard to get up on her own and getting through doors wasn’t easy either. Then, the petticoat. It was from indian silk,expensive and beautiful, Philip Schuyler liked showing off his wealth. She hated using stuff that wasn’t hers to look better but she didn’t have a choice.And finally,the actual dress,made of red silk and black velvet. It looked gorgeous and expensive,and it wasn’t her color. She wore green and blue and yellow and white,nothing sexy,just nature,but now,it was all about making her as attractive as possible. Ruby earrings and necklace, amethyst on her finger and a bit of golden stars in the weird updo her hair was in and ready she was,to go and find a husband.At least the dress had a pocket she could hide a knife into…

She stepped into the ballroom an hour later and for a while she just twirled around with different men,avoiding her old friends and occasionally glaring at John who was clearly avoiding her.  
Soon after some german guy had left her to go brag to his friends, someone with a very familiar voice stepped in front of her and bowed,smiling slightly. Her dear general.  
“May I have this dance,dear miss Faucette?”  
“You may,your excellency.”  
He smiled,took her hand and they twirled on the floor,the most amazing pair as they always were when working together.About halfway through their second dance, Washington sighed.  
“Dear miss Faucette,I’m afraid that tonight I’m not here purely for fun but i have a bussiness proposal to you.”  
“Oh?I’m always up for bussiness,as you know.”  
“I think it’s better if we talk about my proposal outside of where evil ears might hear.”  
“Then we shall go to the garden.”  
She smiles just as the song ends and leads him to the only place about her new life that she liked.The garden of the Schuyler mansion, a beautiful place full of roses and color,a dozen gardeners caring for it every day.They sit on a white wooden bench in a far away corner of it,under the statue of Aphrodite and the general sighs as he opens his mouth.  
“Alex-I’m gonna call you Alex because that’s who you’ll always be to me.You aren’t some fancy lady,you aren’t some liar girl who tried to betray the country, you’re Alex.Whether the Alex ends in der or dria doesn’t matter,but you’re Alex. The army needs you. It always has. You’re the closest thing to Athena the world has, even if we previously thought that you were Ares. Of course, Alexander Hamilton is dead and his body is used by miss Rachel Alexandria, who has the most brilliant mind i’ve ever seen but who can’t use it due to what’s on her chest and between legs. That’s where my proposal comes in. It’s actually a literal proposal. I propose that you accept me as your suitor and we marry as soon as possible and I will take you to mount Vernon,my home,where we shall stay for a week, after which we’ll announce your pregnancy and that’ll give you a good reason to stay away from public eye for almost a year.On month eight,we’ll announce that the child is dead and that we’re trying again and we’ll do that for however long we need to,until the war is over.We won’t,of course, spend the week after the wedding trying to conceive a child. We will cut your hair and dye it blonde.We shall lighten your skin,so there’ll be no freckles and you won’t look similar to your old shape.And of course,we shall get you into shape again,you’ve lost a lot of muscle from your time here.And I’ll take you back to army with me and you’ll regain your old position quickly. After we win the war, I’m probably going to gain a lot of political power and a good position. As my wife,you shall have plenty of power,money and support to make our newborn country better in whichever ways you desire.”  
The boy-girl now,as both she and Washington have to remind themselves- takes a minute to think before nodding and smiling,her voice much happier than before and her eyes sparkling like they used to whenever they came up with a good plan in army.  
“That plan sounds good for me,dear general,I’d get all I’ve ever wanted… But you’re an ambitious person,you wouldn’t do this if it weren’t that you were gaining a lot from it.What exactly is it that you’re getting?”  
“A brilliant right hand man for a long time and a wife who won’t care about my inability to feel sexual attraction to her or my inability to conceive children?”  
“Ah,that makes sense.I accept and I hope that our partnership shall be long and fruitful.Let’s toast to it?”She takes two small flasks from her pocket and hands one to the general who’s eyes widen but then he just smiles,drinking from it.  
“You really are brilliant,my dear Alex…”  
“Tell me something I don’t know yet,dear general.”


	2. Lams-hurt and bitter john

Stilettos and red lipstick.

John used to adore them,especially whenever Alex was wearing them.The boy would look gorgeous and whenever Alex bothered to dress up like that,John’s neck and cheeks would end up covered in the same lipstick.  
Never again,of course.

Right now,John was leaning against a wall at Lafayette’s birthday party and staring at the people dancing through his whiskey glass.

Lafayette might have been young but he was born into old money so the party was fancy.People were in suits and fancy dresses and everyone here was either from old money or dating someone from old money.

And of course,his Alexander was there,next to Thomas Jefferson.Jefferson was in a magneta suit,probably made of whichever most expensive matherial Jefferson could find,while Alexander was in a beautiful dark red silk suit with rubies,emerald bracelets and rings on his hands.He looked beautiful and he… He fit there.

Alexander might have been born dirt poor but he looked perfect talking with those rich,fancy people.He looked beautiful in expensive clothes and heels,drinking champagne that probably cost more than his rent.He knew how to charm everyone he was talking to,with his intelligence and looks.He had come so far away from where they once were,where John loved him.

John laughed.  
He had been pathetic to think that Alex was going to be his happy ending,pathetic to think that Alexander was his savior.  
Alex had saved him countless times,sure.Alex had dragged him away from fights,Alex had poured his alcohol down the drain and Alex had been there when John was at his very worst, when John felt like he wasn’t enough,when all John wanted was to end his pain.And of course Alexander had left him.Alexander was Apollo and Apollo didn’t have lovers with happy endings.  
Icarus fell,Daphne leapt into the sea and everyone else was seduced and left to die.

Bitterly,John thought that at least Jefferson would be hurt too.He’d love Alexander,he’d hold Alexander,he’d try to get close to the sun and he’d fall,just like John had.  
Or it would end in the way John both feared and hoped for.  
Jefferson would hurt Alex and Alex would proudly walk away.But he wouldn’t have anywhere to go.He didn’t have family or friends or anyone else to love him.He’d be alone and hopeless.  
And John could be there for him.John could pick him up and give him everything he needs and John could earn his love again,John could be there for him,John could be happy and...not alone.

Probably wouldn’t happen.John was rich,sure,but he wasn’t ambitious and he wasn’t particularly influential,he couldn’t get Alexander power or influence.John’s father had been powerful and influential...Right now he wished he had learned and listened to him,he could have his Alexander….


	3. Jamilton-angst,pain,suicide mention so don't read if that triggers you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again,if you didn't read the chapter title,contains suicide

The first time Thomas Jefferson met Alexander Hamilton was something different from any other moment in his life.

Sure,you could argue that every moment is different from anything you have experienced before and will experience after but they are still similar and you expected most of them.

When Thomas first met Alexander,he couldn't think for a while.

He had expected meeting the man and he had expected the man to be handsome,Lafayette couldn't shut up about him after he came back to France but no,he hadn't expected this.

The man was short but everything else about him made up for it.

His eyes were full of knowledge.Not wisdom but knowledge and experience.Thomas Jefferson had met loads of people and he could always tell when someone had gone through a lot.And from the first glance he gave Hamilton,he knew that this man had seen so much more than he.'

The way Alexander shook Thomas's hand told him that this man was used to having to prove his worth and superiorism.

The second time Thomas Jefferson met Alexander Hamilton made sure that Thomas Jefferson would never forget Alexander Hamilton.

It was a cabinet meeting.Thomas Jefferson of course had seen cabinet meetings before and he knew how they should work.

Well,it definetly wasn't like an usual cabinet meeting.

This was the first time Thomas Jefferson saw Alexander Hamilton angry.

Sure,he had heard of how the man was horryifying when angered but he had thought they were just rumors.

Alexander Hamilton was like a god when pissed off.Scary,powerful and definetly something that could kill you.

The third time Thomas Jefferson met Alexander Hamilton made sure he wanted to keep meeting Alexander Hamilton.It wasn't actually the third time but Thomas didn't count the times between second and third as in times between second and third,Alexander's behavior hadn't changed.

It was late night at the office,Alexander was working himself to death as usual and Thomas hadn't wanted to go home and deal with his kids so he had stayed longer than usual,not working of course,mainly drinking expensive whiskey from France.

He saw light in Hamilton's office and stepped in.Hamilton glared at him and told him to keep his mouth shut.Thomas,of course,didn't.Insults started to fall like rain.Alexander looked very,very attractive when he was angry.

Thomas,in his drunk state,realized that.

Suddenly,he stepped closer to Hamilton who had been yelling another insult and forced his tongue down the other man's throat without thinking.

Alexander struggled against him for a minute before melting into the kiss.

The next day,when James Madison asked from Alexander why he was limping,Thomas had to run after a doctor to save Madison's kneecaps.

James Madison regretted all decisions that had brought him into the white house.

The meetings like the third one continued to happen more and more frequently.After about the hundreth time,Thomas confessed his love for Alexander.Alexander responded that he felt the same.

After that,their meetings weren't just exploring each other's bodies anymore.

They'd go to restaurants or walk in Thomas's beautiful garden at Monticello or spend hours arguing at a library over their favorite books.

And god,it was beautiful.

And god,for the first time in his life,another human being made Thomas genuinely happy,not because they wanted his wealth or fame,but because they actually,honestly,loved him.

And god,Thomas loved this.

The last time Thomas Jefferson met Alexander Hamilton was at Hamilton's funreal.

Alexander was laying there,in his coffin,wearing a beautiful suit and looking so calm,you'd think he was sleeping.

This was the first and last time Thomas Jefferson saw Alexander Hamilton so calm.

The man looked gorgeous.

His long raven hair was combed and tied with his daughter's last gift,a red ribbon.

His face was without ink stains for once.

Thomas almost cried,never again would he wipe away ink from his lips after kissing Alexander's cheek.

But he couldn't cry,Hamilton's family was there and they did not need to know about the affections the two men shared behind closed doors.

When Thomas arrived home though,he broke down.He didn't leave his rooms for a week.

When Hamilton's wife,Elizabeth Schuyler,started collecting money for starting an orphanage in Alexander's name,Thomas wanted to give away everything he had,just so Alexander could have what he deserved.

Instead,he anonymously donated a mansion with a beautiful garden and a playground.

The mansion became a home for thousands of children for hundreds of years.

While Thomas was alive,he'd often visit the orphanage,just to read bedtime stories to children.

He loved how the children's eyes brightened whenever they save the goddamned president enter their room and he loved how much hope he could give them.

He also loved how some children's eyes would light up just like Alexander's used to whenever they got told that they did something brilliantly.

One evening,late at night,when Thomas had finished reading stories,Elizabeth grabbed him before he could leave the building.She scanned him with those dark,smart eyes.

"You loved him too,didn't you?"

"Uh-"

"Don't bother with responding.Of course you did.He was the kind of person who you can't meet and not fall for.He was brilliant,magnetic,electric...And I'm sorry to inform you but he didn't love you.Alexander Hamilton loved only his legacy,everyone else mattered as much as wind to him."

Thomas stared at her before nodding and leaving.

That night,a gunshot was heard from his room and then nothing,for forever.

He couldn't live with the knowledge that his Alexander had never loved him.

But Eliza,that old fox,forgot to mention something.

Wind mattered to Alexander Hamilton.

Wind had brought his sailor father to Nevis to meet his mother.Wind had destroyed his home and wind had brought him to America.

Wind had always mattered to Alexander Hamilton and he respected it,like any islander.Wind was the thing that even he couldn't change and wind was the one thing that was always there to change him.

Alexander Hamilton had loved Thomas Jefferson like he had loved the wind.

With struggles but until the end of him.


	4. Lams-kidney drabble

John groaned as he opened his eyes. Everything was too damn bright. Which was rather weird, considering that the cheap apartment he was renting with his boyfriend had bad lightning. Usually, the lights being so bright would mean that he had a hangover but he had only had what, one or two things last night-oh wait.  
He had been with Alexander last night which would definitely mean drinking more than usual. He started to stand from the tub-wait?  
Why was he in the tub.

He looked around and then at himself, discovering his body naked and bloody and a rather huge scar on his side. It was well stitched together, impressive. Alexander had complained about the local syndicate not accepting him as a member until he proved he could get valuable shit.

He discovered his phone on the floor under the clawfoot tub the cheap apartment had for some reason. It was wet. He’d place it in some rice later. Or rubbing alcohol. Lafayette said that rubbing alcohol worked better than rice. On the other hand, he didn’t particularly trust either of his closest gingers right now. 

He picked his boyfriend’s name and typed the message.

“Hello, Alexander. This is a courtesy message. I know you took my fucking kidney you fucking scottish french flamehead. I have no idea how you knocked me out that easily but I promise that you’ll tell it to me before I beat the shit out of you. And if you hand my fucking kidney over to your new boss, I’ll mantle your flaming head over my fireplace. Thanks for leaving the blood to dry on me, asshole, do you know how hard it is to get dried blood out of my hair?”

The redhead giggled as he received the message, rather confusing the man currently holding the freezer box with John’s kidney.

“What’s so funny, Hamilton?”

“Oh, nothing mister Washington, just the ex owner of the kidney you are holding is rather displeased with the situation.”

“ ‘Displeased’ meaning…?”

“Well, he’d be rather delighted to kill me and take my kidney as a replacement.”

“Ah. Well, welcome to the syndicate, Hamilton, I do hope to receive more kidneys from you in the future.”


	5. laurette...things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so its from an rp so you probably wont understand but it has reincarnation, the musical dudes are now in 20th century, my ofc who's from estonia but became a crossdressing american soldier fucked the british, had too many kids, lost America the war and managed to get killed and left Laurette to deal with it but they aren't mad and now they're reborn and trying to get their old homie back to America without KGIII doing stabby stabby again.

John sighed as he continued to write the letters to order tickets for his husband and… her,not even looking at his husband.

“My dear, however much I love you and trust your decisions, I am not letting you and Charlie travel in the worst possible conditions.”

As always, Lafayette was not keeping his opinions to himself as he glares at his husband. “And what if we run into the king? He killed her last time,why wouldn’t he now? It is a lot safer if we are in places where he would never dare to step into!”

“He might not even remember who he used to be, if he got reincarnated at all. After all, Adams doesn’t, and I don’t think Burr does either but you can never be sure with that man. Charlie-I mean Meri, that’s what she goes by now, will find me rude if I send her in third class with the pigs. You have nothing to worry about when you go from Denmark to Russia, he has no reason to be there, and when you go on the ‘Titanic’ from england, I am sure you are clever enough to keep them apart, and I doubt that he wants to kill her twice.Besides, it won’t be a long trip, they won’t fall in love in a week, it took me five years and a dead boyfriend to even think about confessing to you.”

“Queen Charlotte the second of England,the runaway queen, the one who drove the mad king mad is known for taking her time, how could I forget!”

John sighs, puts down his pen, and stands to kiss his husband, hoping to have him calm, or at very least, quiet down. This wasn't the war where there was time to yell, many of their neighbors were suspicious about them anyway and would have loved nothing more than to have an excuse to call the police on them for yelling and potential violence. Maybe it would get better with a woman in the house. Probably not, polygamy wasn't exactly loved either.Eh, maybe Lotte would get a female lover and they could pretend to switch partners.

“I know that she made a few mistakes in her past life, and that the king is dangerous, but I trust you, and I have faith that everything will go well. Soon, we’ll all be sitting where the camp used to be, laughing around fire and the king will be only a bunch of dates and names that kids have to remember in history classes, nothing to concern us.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” sighs John, and kisses his husband once more. It would not be his first time to give a promise he cannot be sure of keeping. He had promised to keep the kids safe too...


End file.
